I always dream of him.. i dunno.. haih.. i dont wish to be like this but i cant control myself.. im becoming useless. these few nights have been about him and him. i cant remember wad i dreamt about, but its something good. which means it would be something not good in real life.. i knew this gotta happen sooner or later.. he is no longer mine....

I have been more on the ball these daes. or perhaps this week is gotta be the awakening week.. i dun slack alr.. realli on the track and doing my job- studying hard. i understand more of POA and practised more econs.. tml shall be revision of stats 1 and 2. i guess im pretty serious this time about going to England for further studies and in the short term, raelli have no means of getting into new relationships and marriage. perhaps everything put on hold until i return from my masters stint. i want to do masters in Maths in Cambridge. i wanna leave.. if everything goes on smoothly and i get my First Class by end of the next academic year i should gain entry and obtain scholarship without much difficulty. den i will leave this country of sadness and start a whole new academic stint in England.

If circumstances arent bad, i might not be returning too. i might just teach in the local U and make a living there.. AFterall a British citizenship and pounds gets me further. i might be earning 3000pounds there teaching, but i get onli 3000sing here... so isnt it pounds are more attractive? this is my aim, my goal. i wanna do well in the first two years and be the bait of all top universities.. till den, i wont let ppl know that i was from SIM, i was from YJC.. everything will only come to light when i have craft a name for myself. till den, i wont be seeing him and i wont let him know a thing. perhaps after returning from England, he has already been erased from my mind, or perhaps gone to the shallowest portion of my mind..

Till then, till then.. i will still be me..